Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
only if we run a train.
done.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
