'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize