When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
