hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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