I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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