i think my tv is drunk
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
