what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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