trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?