I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
