I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
