Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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