why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
