Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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