Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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