end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
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I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
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I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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