yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
