just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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