So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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