My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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