Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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