franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
