took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
