my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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