ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize