I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
