There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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