I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.