I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize