I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
