I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
