you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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