So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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