Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
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im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
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it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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