just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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