I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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