eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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