Plan B is the new Plan A
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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