I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
