A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
