I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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