just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
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If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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