even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
