Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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