Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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