He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!