He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.