So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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