Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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