there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
