we have pet lesbian snakes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
