i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
