She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize